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Reverberating and bouncing from wall to wall down to the depths of myself, to that small scared, never shown self. Filling me with unknown longing and wonder. Sometimes, when I am walking outside I will simply stare at the world around me. It is funny how we can live our whole life without ever really living. To simply exist. I sometimes wonder if I am truly meant to be something in this world. I always seem to look at things so much differently than everyone else. I smile when others are silent, I laugh when no one is around…I am different. When I am all alone I feel as though I am mere inches from some great truth that I am supposed to find and understand, but can never reach. As though the path I am following is of my own making and yet, not at all, at the same time. I wish I knew what to do. The human mind is indeed the most amazing and powerful of computers. Transient and temporary though it is. It is very powerful. The most unnerving of questions that this computer can pose. And then one day my wife took Jane shopping. They hit Victoria's Secret; Frederick's of Hollywood, and a whole bunch of other stores. My wife told me that night that if the outfits they bought didn't get Ron up and keep him up, Jane might as well bury him because he was all ready dead.The next day Jane called and she was in tears. Ron had taken one look at her in one of her new outfits and told her that if he wanted a hooker, he'd go out and get one. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. After spending two hours on the phone with my wife, Jane left Ron and moved back home with us. I wasn't keen on the idea, but those of you who are married and have children know how mothers can be. Bottom line was that I had no say in the matter anyway.Now, the kids had been grown and gone for over fifteen years and things had changed around our house. I had gotten used to getting up in the morning and going down stairs naked to put on the coffee, leaving bathroom doors open and other.
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